Aggressive behavior in children is normal but we must minimise it. But from the age of birth, the system starts to react to incoming stimuli. If these are persistently of an aggravating kind, then there will be an adverse repercussion.
This becomes more marked as the child starts to grow up, and is developing yardsticks (in the conscious as well as the subconscious mind). It soon attunes to what is normal, what is fair and what is reasonable. If there is a persistently unkind or unfair element, there will be an emotional reaction. The child will gradually become resentful and later aggressive when the situations aggravating this are thrown into the pathway.
It’s always nice to think along the lines of a “we are right,” “he is wrong,” “I am holier than you” attitude. Actually we are all human beings; we all have a mind and feelings. We will all react one way or another to a situation. Persistent nagging and coercion by a parent will inevitably gain a negative result. I believe that many aggressive children are the product of their own parents. I’ve been saying for years that there are no delinquent children, only delinquent parents. When you stop and think about it, it’s very true. (I include myself here, for I have been a parent for many years also – none of us are exempt.) I think that undue restraints, forcing or coercion will often yield negative results.
Some lads are very passive and will tend to accept everything. Many others inherit an aggressive streak, and will fight back. What is often worse than overbearing parents making all manner of demands is this situation alternating with overindulgence, a ridiculous but quite common situation. This leaves the unfortunate child in a more confused position than ever. Consistency of parental behaviour is a good starting point.
Aggressive Behaviour in Children Treatment
Often it’s possible to modify the aggressive response. Give the child a regular opportunity to give vent to his feeling, to his emotions, to his pent-up tensions. Let him yell and screech his head off occasionally without penalty. You would probably still do the same thing, except that because of age and position, probably it’s not practical.
Encourage him to follow a hobby – ideally an energy and time consuming on. Not only will this absorb his interests, but it will occupy time and absorb his vitality. Also, the sense of achievement on completion of a project is extremely beneficial to his ego. Always praise achievements. Get involved yourself if this is possible. This can favourably influence the relationship with the child. Many shaky partnerships have ended up with firm friendship being formed between father and son, mother and daughter, or whatever. It’s worth thinking about, trying to encourage and then working at. It will pay handsome dividends I can assure you – long-term ones also.