Although the woman is often involved with sexual problems, her partner may also have several difficulties that adversely affect the lovemaking process.
While his hormonal system would normally give him the desire for intercourse any time from the early to mid-teens onwards, a variety of events may occur to drastically reduce this desire. The result is either lack of desire, or more likely the inability to gain or maintain an erection adequate for penetration and ejaculation.
Some illnesses probably head the list, with diabetes the major culprit. Many diabetics suffer from reduced libido, and difficulty in gaining and holding a reasonable erection. Ideally, these people should be under treatment, and as their diabetes comes under control, there may be a return (full or partial, often partial) of their libido and sexual capacity. On the other hand, in some the problem seems permanent.
A considerable amount of research has been carried out in recent years, and two forms of therapy are now widely used. The first one is the silver wire. This is a special device, stitched into the penis, allowing the penis to be kept in any desired position, eg erect, limp, pointing up or down. As the wire is manipulated, a pseudo-erection is possible, providing a certain amount of sexual gratification.
Another method is insertion of small, fluid-filled wells into the groin, with a tube going to another tube located in the penis. By pressing the wells, fluid goes to the penis, and causes an artificial erection, enabling intercourse. Afterwards, the procedure is reversed, the fluid returns to the wells until next time. This too is often successful. The operations are carried out by specialist urologists in major capital-city hospitals.
Other illnesses can similarly reduce libido and the male’s capacity. In fact, any illness will reduce libido, although on recuperation, it will often spring back to normal. A large number of modern medications are known to reduce libido.
Drugs given for elevated blood pressure probably head the list. Many of the newer families of drugs are notorious for this, and males refuse to take them due to this adverse side effect. Some of the newer drugs to reduce acid production in the stomach (for ulcers, dyspepsia and similar problems) have a similar effect and can be downright “disastrous,” in the words of patients so afflicted. Sedatives and tranquillizers similarly reduce libido.
Alcohol, although it may increase sexual desire, is a poor performer, and is a common cause of reduced libido, and erectile and ejaculation failure. Many young men fail to realize that their enormous capacity for alcohol will often have a very adverse effect when they try to turn words and desires into action.
Overwork, long hours of operating under stress and duress also have an adverse mental effect, which in turn seems to shut off libido and performance. Often a break from work, a vacation, a change of scenery will work wonders for men in this category.
Smoking is also bad news. It is claimed that the effect sexually is often the first and earliest indication that the blood vessels are being adversely affected. By narrowing the diameter of the vessels to the penis (called vasoconstriction), less blood goes to the area. A large volume of blood is required for erection. If the supply tubes are obstructed, problems arise.
This is an indication that vessels to other parts of the body are probably being similarly adversely affected, for example to the heart and brain. It augurs poorly for the person’s sex-life. But it also offers a poor outlook for his heart and brain, and such persons may be prime candidates for later heart attacks and strokes. Advancing years also cause problems. Whereas women are often at the height of their libido and sexual desire in their 30s and 40s, in males it tends to be the reverse. Their peak is in their 20s.
Although hormonal production keeps on for many years, often into their 60s, 70s and even 80s, libido often sags at a relatively early age compared to women.
Large numbers of men have difficulty in maintaining a good erection in their late 50s and 60s. Many equate this with “bad luck,” “one of those things,” “old age.” On the other hand, many men suffer from enlargement of the prostate gland (situated just below the bladder). This may cause difficulties in passing urine, and can cause nocturnal frequency. This may lead to surgery being required on the prostate. Often, the nerve supply to the prostate is interfered with (as part of the operation, not by intent). Later, they may have considerable difficulty in gaining and maintaining a normal erection.
However, the assistance and cooperation of a loving, attentive, understanding partner can often help overcome this to a certain extent. Both must understand the situation, and try to help one another. This is true in every aspect of the lovemaking game.
Often some younger men suffer from “premature ejaculation.” This means that ejaculation comes within seconds of penile insertion, often with one or two thrusts. The male has no control over it and the woman is left in a state of mental and physical expectation with nothing to follow. It is a devastating disorder, and requires advice, recommendations and if treatment by a competent sexual counselor. Give all these matters some counselor (usually a doctor who specializes in sideration, for many are either partially this field). Help is often available, with or completely curable. Discuss them with methods such as the “squeeze tech” with your doctor, who may offer the appropriate technique, and other forms of treatment. Incidentally, overweight is another appropriate consultant of bad news. Although there are many causes, lovemaking is much more difficult if these represent some of the more common (or worse, two) partners are over common ones.
Solving Male Sex Problems
In recent times there has been an enormous increase in interest in treating men with sexual problems. Once believed that it was “all in the mind,” it is now clear that the majority of cases do have an organic basis. It may vary from cigarette smoking (narrowing the arteries to the penis), diabetes, use of prescribed medication or alcohol, which has an adverse effect on the penis via the brain. Today, many doctors (often neurologists) have specialized in these problems, and referral to a specialist or a clinic is suggested. This is best done through your own GP or family doctor. Clinics are often referred to as impotence clinics or sexual disorder clinics.
Here a full medical history and examination will be carried out to determine the cause of the problem. Most common is failure of erection, or inability to retain erection throughout intercourse. This is often due to a “leaking” of blood (necessary for erection) and softening during intercourse. Premature ejaculation is also common.
Many men respond favorably to injection of certain medications into the shaft of the penis. This includes one or more drugs, such as papaverine, prostaglandin and phentolamine, either singly or as a “cocktail” (as the doctors say). Prostaglandin (marketed as Caverject) is currently the most popular.
A man can quickly learn how to self-inject, and a suitable dose is worked out. This is given prior to penetration, and usually lasts for an adequate length of time. Occasionally it lasts too long, when other measures may be necessary, but this is rare.
Many men have regained their self-esteem and confidence, and their previous enjoyable sex-life is reinstated. It is very satisfying, and their partners also benefit from the renewed interest. It has saved many marriages otherwise doomed to fall apart.
Risks seem minimal provided instructions are followed. Occasionally, hard lumps may occur with multiple injections, but these are not dangerous. Needle sterilization is essential to prevent infection; naturally, needles should never be shared with anyone else.